northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19

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Northfield Index

 

 Great North Woods Chapter of the Society for the Protection of Artificial Wildlife

     
     

A friend had mentioned about the fake birds at the Northfield Exit on I-93 in New Hampshire a while back. Later I read an article in the Weirs Times about the Society for the Preservation of Artificial Wildlife. Finally I had to get the whole story when Lori mentioned she had seen penguins out there. I stopped at exit 19, and am sharing the results with you below.

The view from the exit.

It becomes a Flaminguin sanctuary in the winter. That wasn't a penguin, but a flaminguin!

It guards the lower artificial wetland as well as an upper one.

Notice the pink coloration on it's breast?

The upper artificial wetland.

This whole thing started a little over a year ago when the good people of Northfield upon returning home one day as they exited the freeway saw earthmovers and bulldozers at work. What had been a pretty little hill covered with trees, with I have been told, birds including an owl living in them was being rubbed from the face of the earth.

It seems the "wetland police" (wetland commission) a bunch of crazy environmentlist whackos run "amuck" had told the state Department of Transportation that they had to create an artificial "wetland" to replace a "wetland" that was filled in while expanding route 101 about 50 miles away.

So they threw a dart on a map and it fell on the Northfield exit of I-93.

The good people of Northfield decided that if there was to be an artificial "wetland" it had to have some artificial wildlife to go with it.

There goes a tour bus departing the artificial wildlife preserve.

I went to the Town Hall in Northfield to get to the bottom of this. Here's the first thing you notice as you walk in.

 
 I was greeted by a very helpful town employee who proceeded to dig out the file on the artificial wildlife preserve. You'll see a picture of her below holding a copy of their town report, the pink color doesn't show well here unfortunately. She wanted to remain "under cover" so to speak. Here is the act from pages 5O and 51 of the town of Northfield NH Annual Report for 1996.



Here's the incognito employee showing off their town report.




 I cajoled Eliza into allowing a picture of her, as one of her friends, Sonny Martin also has his mug on the web.

NORTHFIELD ARTIFICIAL WILDLIFE PRESERVE ACT OF 1996

BE IT RESOLVED THAT:

A parcel of land in the Town of Northfield, Merrimack County, State of New Hampshire, bounded and described as follows:

On the WEST by Interstate 93; on the SOUTH by Exit Ramp #19; on the NORTH and EAST by Route 132, formerly known as Route 3B and otherwise known as the road to Peter's house.

shall, from the date of enactment of this Ordinance forward be known as the Northfield Artificial Wildlife Preserve.

It is further resolved that, within the above-described Preserve, it shall be unlawful to:

  1. Remove artificial wildlife from said preserve unless authorized, in writing, by the Society for the Preservation of Artificial Wildlife. This restriction applies to any natural person including but not limited to employees of the New Hampshire Department of Transportation. The aforementioned Society shall have full and complete authority to manage, in any manner, unnatural habitat of and for artificial wildlife present in said Preserve.
  2. Entrance into the Preserve shall be by special permit secured from duly authorized Society members.
  3. No person may trespass or otherwise attempt to capture artificial wildlife within the preserve without first obtaining the aforementioned entry permit and an artificial trapping/capture permit which may be secured, if at all, from James Watt.
  4. In the event of Exit 19 becoming a full interchange, the preserve shall be immediately relocated.

    DATED at Northfield, New Hampshire this 30th Day of December, 1996.

    Lana Dearborn, Chairman
    Glen Brown
    Selectmen

 

Here's some of what I found digging through their archives. Flamingos in trees.

    Here's another Northfield resident somewhat dubious of this new fangled electronic gadgetry.

     




 Magazine articles...


    With pictures of flamingos in them.

     




 Newspaper articles.


    A maypole surrounded by flamingos.

     
 Letters:

TO: Gordon King - Citizen
FROM: Pat Clark - Flamingo
DATE: 3/26/97

Gordon,


Here is the letter from the California Rotary Club and my return letter to their President, Gus. Have fun with it. By the way, two of our "Snowmingos" have left and are headed for California...maybe Gus will see them soon.

Also, we are starting to get communities/individuals/and groups that want to be affiliated with "The Society for the Protection..." and we will soon be sending them out our new certificate of membership very soon (it's in the final stages of design). This certificate, having the same enormous powers as did the Wizard of Oz in his domain will give them all the rights and privileges of the Society along with a warm glow in their heart.







A membership certificate.
3-26-1997 9:36AM
Rotary Club of Palos Verdes Peninsula
P.O. Box 296, Palos Verdes Estates, CA 90274
Mr. Pat Clark, Rotary Club President, Northfield,
New Hampshire Vice Chairman
of the Society for the
Preservation & Protection of Artificial Wildlife


Police Chief Scott Hillliard, Northfield, New Hampshire (Soon to be ex-chief if he can't find those birds.)

Dear Fellow Rotarians,

During a recent trip to Kauai, I was surprised to read the article about the mysterious disappearance of the Pink Flamingos from the Northfield Wetlands. I am sure your entire community must be devastated at the loss of its prize bird celebrities.

Rest assured, I think I have the answer as to where these missing Pinkies are - they were not birdnapped at all - actually they ran away to California. And can you blame them? Personally I would not like to winter in New Hampshire with only a few pink feathers to keep me warm. No Way!

Coincidentally, the Interact Club of Palos Verdes Peninsula, California, has a special project in progress with these world-famous birds. lf I were a flamingo living in New Hampshire I would fly in a Hollywood heartbeat to the West Coast and enlist with the Interactors.

Our Interact Club has developed a flock of flamingos which have become an integral part of their fund raising activities for the year. The project is titled "FLAMINGO CELEBRATION" - or - "Git the flock out of here!" The project involves the students escorting 20 -30 of the birds to the lawn of someone's lovely home "with an ocean view" and camping there until the owner is willing to pay to have the Beauties removed. The average payoff (oops, I mean donation) is $20 for immediate departure, $50 for an overnight stay, and $100 for the weekend. Wouldn't your neighbors love to see this gang in your front yard, especially in mating season?  
 New Hampshire Rotarians Pat and Scott
February 13, 1997


Our Interactors were so upset to bear of your plight that they have elected to send a pair of their best hybrids so you may once again look upon your wetlands and have joy in your hearts that your birds are back

Just remember, these are California birds and you must follow their dietary needs or I assure you they will run away as before. Once a week on your way to your Rotary meeting they must be fed two chilled Coronas (beer) with lime, Hot Nachos with Salsa, and a large bowl of styrofoam beads. Do not fail to include the beads, for they help greatly with control of their guano. Your neighbors will definitely appreciate the last step. I speak with experience - pink flamingo guano is not a pretty sight.

We hope your tears are gone, smiles have remained, and your hearts are filled with love for the two newest members of your community. Maybe your club can collect funds and sponsor them as Paul Harris Fellows. No fowl joke implied.

Maybe one day we will look to the skies and see Pink Flamingos flying from sea to shining sea.

Sincerely,
Gus Velarde, President,
The Rotary Club of Palos Verdes Peninsula


P.S. Their names are Sophie and Orvis. If you can figure out which one is which, the Interactors would love to know how you made the determination.

 When it got cold someone took pity on the shivering flamingos and knitted sweaters for them.

    Speaks for itself.

    A ransom note received at the town hall.

Wedding of Artificial Wildlife.

Eola & Bartholomew Wheeler and Charlotte & Wilbur Tyler were married in a double ceremony at the Wheeler Bay St. Swamp, Northfield, NH on May 28, 1997. The marriage ceremony was officiated by J.P. Goodbird, friend of the couples. The reception was held at the Northfield Artificial Wildlife Preserve in Northfield (Exit 19, I'93 and the "Road to Peter's House"). Refreshments and Shrimp Cake were served by Jonathan Tyler, cousin to Charlotte & Wilbur. Eola & Bartholomew will be honeymooning in Barbados, and Charlotte & Wilbur will be honeymooning in the Galapagos Islands. The happy couples upon returning will be residing at the Wheeler Bay St. Swamp and the Elm St. banks of the Winnipesaukee River. The happy couples met at the Adopt-A-Flamingo Agency located at The Tower Gallery on Summer St, Northfield.

 

 March 5th, 1997
Gus VeLarde, President
Palos Verdes Estates Rotary Club
PO Box 296
Palos Verdes Estates, CA 90274

Hey Gus,


Thank you for the great letter and donation of two pink flamingos, Sophie and Orvis. They are settling in nicely to their New England home. Your club's kindness in our hour of sorrow over the loss of our flamingos late last summer brought smiles to our faces and joy to our hearts. I would, although, be remiss if I did not tell you how saddened we were to hear that your club was using slave tactics with your flamingos by placing them on lawns for donations. To top off our dismay, the donations were solicited for "removing" those gentle and loving creatures, a subtle suggestion that a person would not want them around. We did, on the other hand, detect a bit of humor in your program and recognize that the proceeds are going to support a super cause, your local Interact Club. Might we suggest that you kindly ask the flamingos if they would like to volunteer their services to graciously beautify the lawns of the lucky recipients at a fee commensurate with the honor.

Yes indeed, if you have not figured it out yet, our whole community is straighfforwardly behind the protection of these little beasties of feather. We have created the "Society for the Protection of Artificial Wildlife to promote respect and understanding for flamingos worldwide. It is with a sense of privilege that we find ourselves on their migratory flight pathway and have chosen our community as a nesting ground for the propagation of their progeny.

As far as your disparaging comments about not wanting to winter over in New Hampshire, many find our State to be a winter wonderland, a step into the crisp and tranquil white powdery countryside dotted with ski areas, farms, and the warm welcome of our folks. It is a peaceful reprieve from the hustle and bustle of gas fumes and car phones, drive-by shootings and muggings, locked doors and the fast track that one might find in say, sunny California. Come on over, we'd love to have you.

We do have to admit, though, the winter time here is tough on the pinkies. Our birdologists have done studies and found two things that hamper their winter survival: their pink feathers are thin and light which does not protect them from the cold blustery winds and the pink color against the white background makes them a target for critters that my want to eat 'em up.

So, we have worked with the Flamingos to make them better suited for our winters. The results of our breeding efforts have brought about a new breed of bird... the Snowmingo (heavy white feathers but, after being crossed with homing pigeons, able to find their way almost anywhere by using the National 911 address system). They are smart, resilient to all weather conditions and they love to travel. Let us know if you see any out there.

Again, thank you from all of us in the Tilton-Northfield Rotary Club and best wishes with your fund raising efforts for Interact. You definately have that Action and Vision thing being talked about by Luis Giay.

Yours in Peace and Love,
Patrick "Pat" Clark President 

Artificial bird watching.

 

A BIG flamingo.

 

    More newspaper articles.

 S.P.A.W. even has an adopt a flamingo program to help raise funds for their library.

S.P.A.W. FUNDRAISER PROCEEDS TO BENEFIT THE HALL MEMORIAL LIBRARY BUILDING FUND

ADOPT -A - FLAMINGO PROGRAM

THE SOCIETY FOR PROTECTION OF ARTIFICIAL WILDLIFE (S.P.A.W.) AND JOANNE JENKS OF TOWER GALLERY SPIRITED GIFTS INVITE YOU TO JOIN US IN RAISING FUNDS FOR THE HALL MEMORIAL LIBRARY.

S.P.A.W. IS A NONPROFIT ORGANIZATION DEDICATED TO THE PRESERVATION OF ARTIFICIAL WILDLIFE LOCATED IN NORTHFIELD.

A special flock has arrived!!! We invite you to bring a signed and numbered pair home to your nest!!!

FOR INFORMATION ON HOW TO ADOPT-A-FLAMINGO, CALL: ROBERTA AT 286-8971 OR JONNE AT 286-9999; OR STOP BY 28 SLIMMER STREET, NORTHFIELD AND PICK OUT YOUR FLAMINGO!!

THE FLAMINGO CRAZE IS SWEEPING NORTHFIELD-JOIN IN THE FUN FOR A WORTHWILE CAUSE!!!!!!

ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT THE HALL MEMORIAL LIBRARY BUILDING FUND.
 To: Eliza Conde 2/6/97 Town Clerk for the Town of Northfield, NH. 03275

From: Bob Tierney, Wagonmaster for the St. Thomas Campers and Lover of Artificial Wildlife 447 Merrow Rd. Tolland, Ct. 06084

Dear Eliza,

One of the members of our Camping group forwarded to me a copy of a newspaper article about your problem with Flamingoes disappearing. Please forward this letter to the proper Municipal Authority in charge of this nefarious and dastardly practice in your area.

It is with great sorrow that I write to you to inform you that we have had similar problems with our Artificial Wildlife all the way down here in Connecticut. It seems that some of the members of our Church Camping Group have taken it upon themselves to cause grief and agitation for the Friendly Flamingoes that inhabit our Campground. We are a group of about fifty families that camp together. We are all members of the same Church and have been doing this for the past 20 years. About three years ago, as the result of listening to a Tim Sample's tape regarding the subject of "decorating the lawn of your trailah", my wife and I gave two flamingoes to the family who had the tape. Well!! As a result of this innocent act of charity on our part, there are now Flamingoes everywhere - wooden- plastic - even flags.

One of the couples in our group - nicknamed the Flamingo - Apple Juice Gang - has gone so far as to have postcards sent to us from all over the world, informing us of the immenent visit of some friends of their flamingoes, who by the way had been kidnapped. This couple also put Apple Juice in my Scotch bottle - thus the name Apple Juice. It was an outrage to say the least!!

Therefore, after all this, we are asking you for permission to form SNE-PAWS - the Southern New England Preservation of Artificial Wildlife Society. We do not know if you have granted a charter to any other area for the preservation of the artificial wildlife in that area. Please answer our plea for help and grant us official recognition. We will reserve an area in our campground as a preserve for these poor artificial forms of wildlife. We are in great sympathy with your Selectmen, distraught with the treatment Of these defenseless species. Please respond to our request as soon as possible. Also let us know if there are any other requirements for forming a Chapter of the Society.

Sincerely yours,

Bob Tierney

 A Friend of Sonny Martin.

    Flamingos on a lawn.

Even flamingo business cards.


Flamingos perched in a tree.

 

Feb. 25, 1997
To: Bob Tierney, Wagonmaster for SoT.C.L.A.W.
From: Eliza Conde, Clerk of Northfield, N.H.
Dear Mr. Tierney,


Just a note to let you know your letter has been received and properly recorded and filed in our Flamingo Files. I am not an elected official of our society, but want to let you know that at some point, at some future meeting of our society, a decision will be made as to whether we will be granting charters for satelite groups of the Artificial Wildlife Preservation Society.

At present, our esteemed president is scanning the slopes of Colorado for any evidence of the missing Flamingos. In order to assure their safe return, in case he finds them, he drove his own vehicle rather than risk their demise in the baggage departments of a plane. I personally observed a good sized flock of very healthy flamingos a couple weeks ago in Gatineau, Quebec...you might check there for your missing ones. We, unfortunately, didn't have the foresight to band our birds, so identification is difficult. We are anxiously awaiting spring and the arrival of our small flock.

Expressions of sympathy for our missing wildlife have come from as far away as California...there seems to be a fair amount of compassion for artificial wildife nationwide. Perhaps there is need for Chapters of the Society in all parts of the country...maybe we are on to something very important ...... 
Dick & Lindy Johnson
Magnolia MA

March27, 1997

Mr. Charles Chandler, President

Preservation for the Protection of Artificial Wildlife
RFD 1 Box372


While vacationing in St. Thomas earlier this month we were exploring the island and came upon the enclosed flamingo nest and eggs. We knew that there were no flamingos living on St. Thomas and could not imagine how this nest had come to be.

To make a long story short, we smuggled the nest out of St. Thomas, through customs, and onto the plane, taking turns sitting on the nest to protect the eggs. We have managed to keep these flamingo eggs at the proper temperature but are now concerned that they will hatch and be confused as to who/what they are.

Our hope is that you can place this nest in your artificial wildlife preserve and that one of your adult pink flamingos will 'adopt' the nest so that when the little ones hatch there will be no questions in their little bitty brains that they too are flamingos.

Thank you for 'caring' for the local artificial wildlife - please keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Lindy Johnson
A "treed" flamingo.

.

Baby flamingos.
One of the keepers of the flamingos.

.

And her front yard.

More of her yard.






A flamingo keeper at work.
ATTORNEY AT LAW
April 30, 1997
603 S.E. 116th Ave. Vancouver, WA 98684 (360) 892-6680
(360) 892-1678 FAX

Society For The Preservation Of
Artificial Wildlife
Attn: Mr. Charles Chandler Esq., President 285 Main Street
Tilton, NH 03276

Dear Sir:


It is with a sense of guarded optimism that I write you on behalf of my somewhat flighty clients, Las and Vegas. This breeding pair have endured the pain of a chickless marriage for several seasons. They flew into my office recently to enlist my services in arranging an adoption. At first I had no prospects for the empty nesters, but then I saw an article from the Weirs Times that my parents had used as fish wrap when shipping me poached salmon.

It was a godsend to learn of the Artificial Wildlife Refuge, with its healthy flock. My clients are hoping against hope that one or two chicks may be available for immediate adoption. Las and Vegas will, of course, pay you a handsome attorneys fee and, as I understand to be customary in New Hampshire, a substantial "feather your nest fee" to the local Selectman of Northfield in order to expedite the adoption of a healthy chick or chicks.

Las and Vegas epitomize the nobility of their breed, and are living proof that "where few men go, flamingo." Please eggspidite your reply.

Pinkest Regards,

JOHN F. VOMACKA, Esq.


.

The Flamingo Parade


.

Other Flamingo Stuff

 A stuffed flamingo.

 A wooden artificial flamingo sitting out the winter.

 Flamingo earrings.
 


Off Site Flamingo Links

The Pink Flamingo Lawn Ornament Fetish Palace

 The Pink Flamingo

 Dance name: Pink Flamingo

 collector of pink flamingo stuff

 Flamingophilia?

 Union Products, Inc.

 Union Products, Inc. Geese

 Off The Deep End's Flamingo Island

 Flooding yards with flamingoes 'n more!

 Flamingo Floods & MoreTM

 Is the Garden Market Growing on Solid Ground?

 Union Products Flamingo Site

 Buy Direct From the Factory

 Flamingo Photo Contest.

 Loving Stitches

 Porch and Lawn

 Kramer Lawn Ornaments

 

     


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Copyright 1997, 1998, 1999 by Ed Sanders.
northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19 northfield NH SPAW S.P.A.W. Society for the preservation of artificial wildlife, New Hampshire I-93 I93 Exit 19